Peter Kater

Dear Friends,

I hope this newsletter finds you in a good place at the beginning of a new solar cycle of the seasons, of light and dark, inner and outer and ultimately… a cycle of balance. 

Personally I’m in a really good space right now. I’ve been having lots of juicy expansive experiences of connection with my Self and the “natural” world. The Holidays were low-key and relaxed and I’m happy to get back to my favorite time of year… every day. I love Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and so on. And that’s a good thing too cause there’s so many of them!!

I’m not really one for New Year’s style resolutions, but this year I’ve decided to honor my heart in a more direct way by focusing more of my personal and creative energy on the “healing arts” in all it’s various forms. Taking the time to acknowledge and nurture our deeper essential selves is key to experiencing peace and happiness in our lives. It takes a conscious commitment to allow the space for us to unravel from the the demands and stress of a fast paced world. In truth, there’s nothing outside of us that CAN fill us with an experience of true contentment. Peace and happiness are NOT contingent upon what we have or how much money we make. In fact, often people with “less”…  experience more joy and gratitude than people juggling high income, high overhead lives. Not to say that you can’t be wealthy and happy, but only to say that happiness and material wealth are not really connected. For me, the experience I cherish most comes from my connection to my essential Self and the Universe at large. I feel best when I create more and ways to nurture and enhance that relationship.

Creating music for the healing arts is one way in which I connect with my Self in a deep and present way. My newest recording “Wind, Rock, Sea & Flame” is really quite beautiful (personal opinion) with it’s spacious Piano, Cello, Native American Flute, Whale song and Soprano Saxophone. I’ve also created 3 additional compilation records for my new “Spa” series. All four of these new recordings are available as digital downloads from iTunes. I priced them very low at only $3.99 each to make them very affordable. We’ve all had to make adjustments in this crazy economy and making my music more affordable feels good to me since it was given to me at such a great price. I get the “free” download initially then I mark it up just a little and pass it on to you.

Click on any of the CD covers to visit their iTunes page and hear previews.

I’m happy to say that my 2nd Annual Full-Moon Maui Event is full for this Feb. We’re going to have a great time tuning into the beautiful “Aloha” energy here on Maui checking out my favorite spots; getting lots of quality “ocean” time;  enjoying the great food here and being transported by the amazing sunsets. I’ll post some pictures somewhere after the end of Feb so you can get a feel for what it was like and maybe you’ll consider putting it on your wish list for next year!

Well, that’s about it for now. Thanks for reading this newsletter. I wish you and yours all the very best for a New Year filled with lots of deep and expansive experiences of your beautiful Self and the amazing Universe we live in!!

With love,

Peter

Dear Friends,

There have been two places in my life where I’ve felt “home”.  One is Boulder, Colorado and the other is Maui, Hawaii.  I’ve only lived on Maui for two and a half years but I can honestly say that it calls on and nurtures my soul like no other place I’ve ever been to.

But the funny thing is that it’s not because of it’s beautiful beaches, perfect temperature and gentle breezes.  It’s not because of the great tasting healthy food, the welcoming vibe and diverse culture.  It’s also not because of the amazing snorkeling, ocean activities or hiking.  It’s not even because of it’s awesome yoga classes and unsurpassed sunsets! Its because Maui is alive! That’s right! Because the “life force” or “mana” (as they call it here on Maui) is rich, vibrant and alive, breathing inspiration, health and well-being into everyone and everything that lives here. The “mana” surrounds these islands and ocean like a blanket of loving creative life energy. I also like to refer to is as “The Aloha”.

The word “Aloha” is NOT the Hawaiian way of saying “Hello” or “Good-bye” or “Fare-Well” which is how the average dictionary defines it. If you talk to some of the local Hawaiians or to my friend, Richard DeLeon, Hawaiian Kahuna, Herbalist (direct descendent of the last Hawaiian King Kamehameha), he’ll tell you that Aloha means “unconditional love” or “the common breath of life that we all share”. Aloha is an energy field that pervades these amazingly beautiful islands. When I first moved here I quickly started to draw the distinction of whether I was being “in” the Aloha or “outside of” the Aloha. Being “outside” of the Aloha felt like I was a separate individual going about my day fulfilling my personal needs, goals and desires. Probably how most of us relate to life on a daily basis. Being “in” the Aloha feels like moving with and through an energy field that connects all of us together in an environment of mutual awareness, interdependency and support. Life is a vital network of energies and beings, connected and pulsating within a common reality and experience. And as you can imagine, the difference of experience of being “in” and “outside” of the Aloha, is NOT subtle.

“Aloha” is NOT a concept created in the minds of the first Hawaiians a thousand years ago.   ”Aloha” is a very palpable, tangible experience that is available to everyone that spends time in Hawaii.   In my experience it is an energy that not only exists, but thrives, transforms and heals on these islands.   It is akin to “the force” or to “grace”. And again, it is NOT subtle.  It feels like being very present.   It feels like being loved by nature and being connected to and part of the environment.   The air takes on a quality of thickness and substance where you feel it connecting you by it’s touch to the distant hills and the clouds.   The water takes on the attributes of silk and softness and becomes even more “alive”.    It is the experience of being part of something greater than ourselves and transcendent of our separate egos. And if you’re already good at doing that, then being on Maui just fuels the fire that much more and invites in an even greater opportunity to take you on a journey you’ve never had before.   Beyond your imagination.   It almost sounds too good to be true, right?   Almost unbelievable, right?   Well it IS unbelievable. Even inconceivable … by the mind!   

I think that at one time the energy known here as “the Aloha” existed everywhere on the planet. People tell me “well of course you like hanging out in paradise”.  And yes, this IS paradise.   But the whole world was once paradise.   I feel that this is what life was meant to be like.   Like “paradise”.  And the more we built square houses, and power lines and highways and polluted the skies and waters . . . the less paradise it became. And as we undermine, obstruct and pollute “the natural world” not only do we “harm the environment”, but we also dampen the presence of the energy that I’m talking about and numb our abilities to experience the “force” or “mana” of nature.  Of “our” nature. On Maui, the Natural world is still the predominant force and presence here. And there are less and less places on the planet that you can say that about.    The skies are clear, the waters clean, the sealife is vibrant and healthy and the land is fertile and bountiful.    The recent volcanoes here still vibrate with the primal raw life force of creation.    And, for the most part, the people that live here know and respect the fact that there is no separation between the well-being, health and vitality of humanity and of Mother Earth.   We are one.

I’ve created a yearly Maui Event. It’s about my desire to share the experience that has truly changed my life in many ways. I’ve designed this Maui Event to support and nurture you from all sides while addressing all of your senses. Starting with your luxury accommodations at the elegant Four Seasons Resort. To beginning your day right with some quality time with your Self. You can choose from a little morning yoga on the beach or a leisurely stroll or Jacuzzi; followed by some time in the healing waters of Maui.   Kayak or paddle board and let’s take a closer look at these amazing humpback whales.   Or let’s just snorkel a bit along the beautiful reef along Wailea Beach or Turtle Town.   Our excursions to interesting sacred, natural and historic sites and towns are entertaining, educational and stimulating. The food is nothing less than world-class and extraordinary BUT nothing compares to ending your day with a glass of wine on the beach watching the sun go down. Maui sunsets are world famous. People line up along the beaches an hour before as if they’re going to the premier of the summer’s long anticipated blockbuster drive-in movie.    However, you’ll soon realize that the true blessing and gift of Maui is to be felt from within. It is a very real opportunity to experience the unexplainable. The unthinkable gift. The unspeakable shift.  We have the opportunity to breath in and be present within the Aloha of Hawaii, of life, mana in its purest form.

Maui reminds us that life IS a miracle.  Not in some abstract philosophical or religious sense, but in a real life tangible experience that we can all partake in. The way life was originally designed and created to be.   An effortless yet profound miracle. With every breeze, every scent, every warm touch of the sun, every breath you take, every move you make, every step you take, I’ll be watching you … Oh, sorry, that’s a Sting song.   I love Maui. Can you tell? Let me show you why!!!

Click here to read about all the specific details for my Feb. 2011 Maui Event!!!

A few additional announcements:

1.  Holiday CD Offer!!!   6 of my best CD’s shipped to your door for only $50 (free shipping).     Your Holiday shopping just got easier!  Click here for more details!

2.   “The Best Of Smooth Jazz”  This is digital only release now available on iTunes!!   16 of  my most upbeat and popular tracks from my Top 20 National Radio and Billboard   Contemporary Jazz charting CD’s.    You’ve got to check this out.   Click here!

3.   Colorado, here I come!!   Dec. 17th in Grand Junction; Dec. 18th in Breckenridge; Dec.  19th in Boulder/Lafayette and at the Mile High Center for Spiritual Living all morning on  Dec. 19th as well.   Click here for details!!!

Have a great month and take care of your Selves and loved ones!    Feel free to write me anytime!   Just click here!

All my very best,

With love,

Peter

Peter,

I too have been blessed with creative & problem solving abilities.  I do think that much of it is reflective of were I have been in life’s journey, this life and who knows maybe a past one as well.  The thing that I know about creativity is that it does come from the God within us.  The essence of whom we are.  The stillness, the space, the nothingness. 

But when I say nothingness I do not speak of “nothing” in the way we were conditioned to think of nothing, as in no value, but rather indescribably NO-Thing.  When I am inspired to create, it is a feeling that is directly connected to Source.  It is Source manifesting itself.  The manifestation of the un manifest.  I have had moments of inspiration that requires me to drop what I am doing and write what is being given.  Sometimes so fast that I cannot hardly read my own writing until the cool down and refinement. 

I consider creativity sacred and do not feel the need to change it much, but rather accept what is, as is.  But there are other times that allow it to be an evolution or a sculpting of sorts.  I look at my creativity as affirmation of Source & I as being one. 

Every life may just be a well of creativity in it’s distinct unique way!  Certainly when the I in me is in sync with Spirit, then my creativity reflects at higher degrees.  I think that recognizing/celebrating your own creativity and that of others is recognizing and knowing what and who we are. Life!  When I watch a sunrise or sunset or watch a bug or look at a rock, I am to a degree creating how it appears and what it means to me.  But when I am present and aligned with spirit then what it means to the I in me is profound, clear and true, compared to what it means to the me. 

Creativity is like the Native American flute, you don’t blow into it, you don’t try to play it, it draws your breath and when that happens, it plays for you.  Our job is to be present, so it happens and that the I in me, the God within can experience all of it in its manifestation into form, from the un manifest formless, No-Thing :)

Thank you for your creativity :)

Carlos

Creativity: Inspiration or Emptiness?

Strange title, I’ll admit. But I wanted to talk about one of my favorite subjects … Creative Process. I think it’s safe to say that many artists get caught up in the idea of being “creative”. The idea that we have to “do” something to access our creativity, or we have to “be” something or “try” to be creative. It’s an easy trap to fall into.

In my experience, true creativity is more of a result of “undoing” rather than doing. “True” creativity comes, initially, from an empty place or a void. I don’t mean “emptiness” like something that is lacking. I’m talking more about a womb or fertile place. An undefined place of “possibility”. I don’t really think there is an accurate word for it because it is a place that exists prior to any kind of definition. It exists prior to any kind of creativity. I think the best way is to describe it as some kind of Void. However the Void, in and of itself, is no more than an Invitation for creativity.

I learned a long time ago that, in performance, if I’m not having an experience, then the audience isn’t either. So, how does one “plan” on spontaneously having an inspired experience? In the mid-1980’s I used to do a 3-day water fast before every one of my larger concerts. And during those 3 days I’d do lots of meditating, Tai Chi and centering before each show and then I’d do the concert while fasting. I wanted to be a clear channel for as much energy from the Universe to pour through me, into my piano and out to the audience as possible. But I quickly got tired of all the “prep” work and decided that I didn’t want such a huge distinction between my more “ordinary” daily life and my “special” creative life. I was tiring of the distinction between the sacred and the mundane and realized that it was separation that I was creating and that it really wasn’t necessary or even a true reality.

After many years of “working on it” through various techniques, therapies and practices, I feel that I have, to a large degree, integrated my creative life into my entire life and at this point my music grows as I grow, whether it’s me doing the dishes or laundry; walking on the beach, writing a blog or recording in my studio. I’m almost always involved in my creative process. My life IS my practice. I DO still have certain activities or practices that I feel nurture my more “expanded” or “spiritual” self more than other activities, but they are more like reminders throughout my day rather than a real departure from my normal routine. Some of the practices are ones of remembrance that I can do during any other activity I’m involved with and other practices are more involved like my yoga practice or my love for sitting and seriously focusing on the sunset for an hour or two. Basically, it’s all about “emptying.” Stripping down the layers of thought, identity, desire, expectation and judgment until what’s eventually left is just “being.”    Just “listening.” And when we get to a place of truly being able to “listen” (because we’re not filled up with all our thoughts and ideas of what things should look and feel like) then, finally … we’ve just sent an Invitation out to the Universe. In fact, the Universe (or God) is always seeking us. We just need to learn how to listen and allow access. Recently, I am also noticing that there is a way of “seeing” that is very powerful as well and completely aligned with what I’m talking about regarding “listening”. 

In my experience, the Universe, God, the Creator, the All that IS, loves to fill us with it’s energy. It can’t help but to fill up a Void. We’re usually generating so much of our own thoughts, concerns, expectations, desires and judgments that there’s literally NO room for divine inspiration. I’m serious. True creativity only comes when a welcoming (open, empty, void) space is created. However, emptying ourselves of all that “extra” stuff that we usually think IS “us”, is often challenging and sometimes confronting. Sometimes in stripping away the layers we need to let go of certain beliefs or associations that we’ve taken comfort in for a long time. These are both positive AND negative identifications.   Sometimes we need to feel things we’d rather avoid, like sadness, loss or fear of various kinds. These things take up our inner “space or Void” and interfere with truly being “present.” But after we feel and release the concepts, wounds or pain that occupy our inner sanctum, the Universe rushes in and fills us with its energy. That’s why we feel so good after some kind of emotional or cathartic release.    

And when I come to the piano to play, perform, write or record, I try and empty myself first, then I play a note or a short phrase that is an expression of how I really feel at that moment. If I feel good, then I play “I feel good.” If I feel nervous and insecure then I play “nervous and insecure.” And then I listen to what I just played and then I respond to that in an honest, whole-hearted way with another musical phrase. Then I listen to that and so on. I never try to mislead or lie to my piano or to my audience. I always start exactly where I really am. If I don’t play from where I really am then how can I be present? If I’m pretending to feel good and confident when I’m not, then I’m deceiving my audience and not being honest with myself or my instrument. I’m not aligning my Self with what IS.   If I DO start from and express from where I am, for better or worse, then I know it will change. The “moment” always transforms into something else. It never stays the same.   If I’m honest and expressing my Self truthfully then I can align my Self and music with the present moment. It feels literally like dropping into “the moment”. And in the present moment there’s all the energy and all the creativity of the entire Universe. It’s like being swept away by a huge current that I can only keep up with if I continue to stay present and not think about it, not define it or categorize it in any way. And that’s always so much more interesting and moving than what I could ever bring to the table on my own. And don’t forget, a key element to any relationship with the Universe/God or one’s creative muse, is a healthy dose of humility and an awareness that this all really IS a mystery … a miracle that will never really be understood by our rational minds through words and explanations.

There’s so much more to this way of approaching life and creativity. I’m writing a book to discuss the process and journey in much more detail and to provide tangible exercises to facilitate an experience of what I’m talking about. But for now, this is just a little blog to share some of my thoughts. Please feel free to comment or ask questions. This is one of my favorite subjects. Thanks for reading!!

I’m very excited to announce the release my newest album, CALL OF LOVE.    I honestly can’t tell you how many records I’ve recorded.   But the great thing is that even after years and years and recordings and recordings, I am, at this point in my life and career, more in love with music than ever. Making and recording music is all about the process. Yes, it eventually leads to a tangible outcome, like a CD or score for film. BUT the best part is the process. From having an idea or melody for a song, to flushing it out on the piano; to seeing how it evolves and changes as I work on it and nurture it; to recording it; having other musicians add their support and ideas to the song; mixing the album (often my favorite part); naming and packaging and then finally releasing it and planning some marketing. I love every step. And the interesting thing is that “love” is so much a part of the process that if I don’t literally “fall in love” with every song on the album, then that song doesn’t make it. For me making music is all about “love”.

That’s one of the reasons why “Call Of Love” is such an appropriate title for this album. What the title, “Call Of Love”, means to me is that every day, every hour, every minute we’re making decisions and choices that affect our present, our day, our year and ultimately the rest of our lives. Whether it’s choosing what to have for lunch; or how to communicate to a friend or loved one about something important; or how to react to an event or situation that crosses our path unexpectedly, or even choosing what thoughts to have … choosing “love” is always one of the options for us. Every day we make thousands of decisions that ultimately add up to the overall quality of our life experience. I believe that the more often we choose “love”, not only will our experience be better, but our contribution to our family, friends, community and world will be of a greater and more meaningful impact. 

Now, this is not always the easiest choice. In fact, it often appears to be the most confronting. But just the awareness of it as the best option IS life-changing in and of itself. The World calls to us from many different perspectives and attitudes.   The World has an amazing momentum and pace that is often overwhelming.    The World tells us that we need “this”, and should work for “that” and what’s “better” and “cooler” BUT the World almost NEVER tells us what will bring us the most peace, contentment, joy and love in our lives. That’s why it is SO very important to listen so closely for the Call Of Love. The Call that some part of us recognizes as the “true” and “pure” sound. That we recognize comes from a deeper place within our selves. The one that brings us closer to the home, life experience, contentment and the love that we truly desire most, beyond all else. I hope it doesn’t sound to “out there” BUT that IS the inspiration for this album. The awareness that we have a choice every second to answer to a deeper call from within. 

Now, on a more tangible note … let me tell you a little about how this album evolved and let’s take a look at each song individually and see what I can tell you about it.

1.   Call Of Love -  I wrote the main melody for this song for a series of PSA’s that Pierce Brosnan was making to “Save The Whales”. The International Whaling Commission was considering lifting the “ban on whaling” because of pressure from countries like Japan and Iceland. A combination of efforts from organizations like Greenpeace and individuals like Pierce upheld the ban so that for at least another 15 years or so, the Whales are relatively safe from “legal” whale hunting although they are still under threat by “illegal” whale hunting.   Nonetheless, it inspired this song. I really love Paul McCandless’s oboe solo in the middle of the song and Jaques playing is always spot on.

2.  Breath Of Life - I wrote this song with Dominic Miller in mind. I knew his acoustic guitar would really shine on this song. When Paul McCandless put down his beautiful oboe part it added this sweet longing to the song. And I’m sucker for “sweet longing”. Mixing this song was a bit challenging because of all the layered guitar parts a couple minutes into it. The cello adds such an important element as well. The “hook” that happens in two places on the song where it goes from an F major to an F#minor repeatedly gives it this auspicious/otherworldly quality for just a few seconds. That’s one of my favorite parts. This could be my favorite song on the album. I’m already planning on recording a solo piano version of it for a future project because the solo piano version is very different and interesting. Much different from this version.

3.  Song Of My Heart -  This song used to have a minute long mellow intro with just cello and guitar, but I wound up removing it because I thought it was too long to wait before the song “kicked” into it’s groove. This is probably the jazziest song on the record, but it’s still not really jazz. I actually wrote this song with Jaques in mind, playing the cello melody the 2nd half of the song. Paul’s soprano sax added a really nice color and energy.

4.  Everlasting Waltz - This is another song that will show up again on a future album probably as a solo piano version. This version is “in time” and sound more structured as a result. But there is a very moody “out of time” version lurking within me and I’m looking forward to playing with that. I think the oboe and cello sound particularly beautiful on this song.

5.  Here For You -  This, for me, is the “surprise” song on the album and leans the most towards pop instrumental or some unknown category. I’ve never been easily categorized. The piano does some interesting things with “time” on this track. I often “let my fingers do the walking” and just play what feels good to my hands. This song is perfect example of my hands just having fun. When I recorded Paul playing his soprano sax it took the song to a new place. His equally uncategorizeable style really comes through in this song. Is he playing “pop”, “classical” or “jazz”? Answer: none of the above. He’s playing his own unique self. Yeah Paul!!! I love what he does in the latter part of the song where he gets more punctuated and “staccato”. This song makes me happy cause it’s so “me”.  

6.  In Every Life - Funny thing about this song is that when I’m not really paying attention I like it more. If my mind is wandering and this song comes up, I’m like … “Oh, that’s nice … what is that?”.    But if I’m listening to closely I start thinking “There’s really only two sections and I’m just repeating them in different octaves”. Well, maybe that’s all it needs to be? I’ve included it on the record in a short form because I really like the melody, it sounds good and it’s satisfying to play. Plus it’s my album and I can do whatever I want. Right?

7.  A Tale To Tell - I kind see this as the “sleeper” song on the album. It’s just very sweet and satisfying. A little blue. I find the textures really satisfying. The acoustic guitar especially. This is one of the those melodies that just came out of me completely intact and very specifically. It doesn’t have the “build” that is so common in my music. It’s stays pretty even throughout. Sometimes that’s hard for me to.

8.  My Beloved - To me this sounds like an old Celtic love song. The penny whistle really adds to that feeling. I really like that the piano plays a main melody and counter melody at the same time. Definitely sounds like a love song to me, maybe a little bit of unrequited love and a little melancholy, but I like that as well. I also think it sets up the next song very well.

9.  Fields Of Gold - I love this song. One of my favorite Sting songs. Dominic played on the original. I thought it was very cool that he was into recording it with me. I think he’s only played it with Sting and I (I could be wrong) and that’s very cool. I tried adding some penny whistle to it to add to the “old Irish ballad” feel, but it wasn’t happening, seemed to distract too much from the heart of the song.   I love Dominic’s playing, the simplicity, the great tone, the restraint. I’ve learned a lot from playing with him on and off for the last couple years. Thanks Dominic!

10.  Each Moment - This is Jaque’s favorite song on the album. I think it’s because of the ever evolving chord changes and melody growing over the top. I like it because of the “timelessness” in the playing. Meaning … it like moves through honey in some places and slides along in others. Sounds romantic to me.

PS. The songs “Breath Of Life”, Song Of My Heart and A Tale To Tell were all inspired by a kind of creative spark initiated by my friend, Pierce Brosnon, who asked me to explore with him some musical themes for an independent  film he was producing and starring in. These are melodies that I wrote for him to listen to during that process. So, with those 3 songs, plus the title song Call Of Love … a total of 4 songs on this album came through a sort of synergistic exchange with Pierce. Thanks Pierce!

I headed out on my paddle board one morning several weeks ago looking for … an experience. The ocean and winds were calm so I ventured further out than normal and probably further than would have been advisable given that the sun had not yet risen and I was the only one on the water as far as I could see. But I REALLY wanted … an experience. I paddled for a while, breathing deeply into the fears that sometimes surfaced in my mind and stomach. Fears about sharks and unexpected winds and my own vulnerability and mortality. As soon as one set of inner “disturbances” or “ripples” of fear dispersed, another surfaced. But I kept breathing into them and relaxing my body and mind as I did so. I kept breathing, waiting patiently for enough layers of my thoughts to disintegrate so that I could simply be “present”. And finally this thought surfaced … ” but I’m so far from shore “. That struck me as an obvious but interesting thought to have. And I looked down at my feet standing on top of my beautiful red striped board and I thought … “but I am HERE, standing on my board!”. Life isn’t on the shore. Life isn’t elsewhere. It’s here. Like it or not, where ever we go, there we are. And I was here, simply standing on my board, holding my paddle, somewhere out on the ocean. And that is all. This was the last of my distracting thoughts for that morning. And finally … I was present, simply looking for an experience.

But what kind of experience? What was it that I was so hungry for? I asked myself what was missing inside of myself that I was searching for somewhere out here on the ocean, alone, so early in the morning? And the thought occurred to me … “something sacred … something free”. I wanted to touch on something that was intrinsically itself. Something completely free and wild. Something that was not defined by it’s productivity or assigned some relative value or worth based on what it did or didn’t do. Something that didn’t need to practice … “being”. I wanted an experience that could remind and reconnect me with the essential part of my self that existed since my conception and still lives beneath all the concepts, ideals and values that have been layered and layered upon me from the moment I took my first breath. I wanted to experience the part of me that transcends even the loftiest and most well-meaning of spiritual aspirations. Spiritual ideals, values, concepts, revelations and breakthroughs are merely vehicles to guide and transport us to a place where they are no longer useful or relevant. I wanted to experience something sacred, something free.

I wanted to feel true freedom. A wanted to experience my essence. A place where if one tries to determine how one got there or define where that is, “it” simply dissolves back into the mystery that “it” emerged from. Didn’t you ever have the experience where for one reason or another you find yourself in a higher state of being or oneness and then as soon as you start comparing it to other “lesser” or denser states of being or you start thinking about how you want to stay here in this ego-less place for as long as possible, then with that thought you find your beautiful “space” slipping away back into the confines of duality? Any thoughts or rational thinking of what our experience of true essence and presence may look or feel like are often just distractions and obstacles to experiencing the real thing. We can “Om” and “affirm” all we want but until we throw our spiritual concepts and emotional attachments away we’re still going be just “Oming” and “Affirming”. It’s like we can swing on that swing over and over again until we go higher and higher, but then if we don’t jump off that swing at just the right time and soar through the air, then we’re just clinging to a rope tied to a tree (which is nice, for a little while).

We hug our concepts and beliefs close to ourselves like a favorite soft blanket, protecting us from the cold. We hug it so close we don’t even realize that we’ve blanketed our eyes and hearts as well. Even the most comforting, well meaning and loving thoughts and intentions can blind and separate us from what is present and right in front of us. It’s like we forget that we needed the blanket and snow boots when it was winter. And then we wanted the umbrella when it was raining. And now we’re still walking around carrying our boots, blanket, umbrella (and God knows what else we’re lugging around) that helped us get here. But for me I’m realizing that “here” is very different than “anywhere” I’ve ever been so far in my life. And being “here” is requiring a lot more breathing and letting go. We can’t take all our “knowing” with us to a new place! We can’t wrap all our “knowing” around us and then expect to be touched by a greater experience of “wonderment” or awe! True inspiration doesn’t come from any place of “knowing”! And any experience of “grace” can’t survive an inquisition or desire to define and sustain it. You have to be willing to go along for the ride with all your heart and all your faith until your mind just can’t take it longer and grabs hold of the steering wheel, to be once again, in control.

I started paddling out on my board hugging my identity, concepts, fears and aspirations close to me. And one by one I dropped them into the ocean and they submerged. I became more and more vulnerable and present as I disarmed myself of my illusion of protection and separateness. And there I stood alone, just me and my board about a mile or more off shore watching the sunrise shimmering brightly over the distant mountain ridge. And then I heard it. The sound of a huge, wet exhale. The sound of water and air spraying out with one giant breath into the atmosphere. Compared to the quiet lapping of water on my board this new sound was like a freight train blowing it’s whistle into the night. And I then I heard it again and I turned to look and find it. And there I saw it! It’s dark long back, rolling up surfacing out across the water and then, many yards later, rolling back down into the ocean. It rolled and rolled, submerging very slowly for many long seconds. It looked like a giant sea serpent from some mythological fairytale. It’s body was maybe 40ft. to 50ft. long and it’s huge tail fins were wider than the full length of my board. Sliding and slicing through the water until the while completely submerged with a playful SLAP of it’s tail fin! This beautiful humpback whale, less than 30 ft. away, was now heading directly towards me!

I dropped to my hands and knees on my board now looking for more stability. It was once again quiet. Very quiet. For several minutes again there was that sense of just me out there on top of the water. But now, not alone. In fact, I had tons of company, literally. This is what I was looking for! First an encounter with myself and then with a living breathing ambassador for something sacred, something free. A mascot of my inherent desire and right to freedom. A giant symbol of the “unknown” from a world I can only peer into for a few seconds at a time. A creature that is so foreign to the world I live in and so free from the goals and aspirations of the culture that I’ve adopted and invested most of my life into, but yet, at this moment we share the same water and breathe the same air. Literally occupying the same space in time. Well, almost. It’s more like we peek at each other for a few seconds at a time thru the thin but substantial veils that separate us.

It finally surfaced again on the other side of my board and was now heading away from me. It must have swam underneath me. Then, with more blind enthusiasm and fearless motivation than I had felt in a long long time, I jumped to my feet and paddled hard and deep after my new found ocean companion. I hoped that I could keep up for at least a few minutes before it decided to disappear into the ocean again. I did manage to keep up with it, or it allowed me to, I’m not sure which. I felt it’s salty spray on my face and saw it’s huge amazing body slice and dance thru the water over and over again. And in-between paddling hard to keep up with it I also sat patiently, quietly, many times, waiting for it to resurface again for the air that we both shared. In some ways the waiting and listening was my favorite part of the journey. The air was shrouded in mystery and anticipation. The quiet was as rich, thick and poignant as it could possibly be. I submerged my head into the water to listen to it’s whale song and couldn’t believe how loud and clear it was. What a beautiful contrast to the quiet on the surface. The whale surfaced and submerged a dozen times or more on it’s way south before heading further out to sea. The journey lasted for about 30 to 40 minutes and finally it was time for me to head back to shore. I had gone as far out to sea as my mind could tolerate. But I was completely moved by the grace of the animal and humbled by it’s magnificence. And something about it’s very existence that had me spell bound. I didn’t want to let it go, but our worlds were calling us in two different directions and I had to return to solid ground.

But I had my experience, my encounter. I found something sacred, something free and spent a long time with it. And as I paddled slowly in towards shore, often looking behind me and listening to every ripple in the ocean and every breath of wind, I hoped to bring something of that experience back to the land, to my life. Perhaps to allow just a little more perspective and a little more freedom in the world of solidity and structure. But regardless of what the day had in store for me, for now I was enlivened, inspired and rejuvenated. I experienced a brief yet satisfying allay of my deep lifelong thirst for something sacred, something free. And I was, for now … content. (End Part 1)